I’ve never actually seen this kind of sign anywhere in real life! My younger sister would have loved it when she was pregnant with twins and we went out shopping. It seems like we always ended up parking at the back of the lot.
But yeah – if I had to see it every time I went to the grocery store or library, it would get me down. It would just be another reminder of what’s wrong with me.
Keikosays
It’s nuts how there can be reminders everywhere – it’s like once you’re diagnosed, it’s like you’ve got infertility-colored glasses on. Totally makes you see the world with different eyes.
Even when I COULD use those spaces, I didn’t want to. My husband, my friends, my mother encouraged me to take advantage of them, but something in me, something psychlogical felt wrong about doing so. Very, very wrong.
I was still able to walk. I wasn’t differently-abled and required the space closer to the store. So for most of that time, I continued to use the “regular” parking spaces. I do confess, in the last three or four weeks, I did on occasion use them; simply because it was a chore to move around. Luckily I was usually able to send Hubby to run the errands for me! 🙂
Seeing these signs now makes me cringe a little. Yes, I may have found the other side, BUT I’m still infertile. And hell yeah, infertility has definitely changed me.
Keikosays
Powerful stuff Gil, especially about how infertility stays with you, even if you have resolved. I didn’t know they had these signs up in Canada too! I thought it was a (fat/lazy) American thing 😉
Nicolesays
a completely different POV…
as a mom this sign completely bothers me! What are expecting moms disabled and can’t walk now?
Keikosays
It’s kind of amazing how pregnancy is still technically classified as a disability, even in the context of the Family Medical Leave Act, too. Annoying indeed!
Whenever I see IF post secrets, I always wonder if they are from one of “us”, and if they aren’t, I always send a silent prayer that the person finds the ALI community.
Keikosays
I saw a few yesterday on the PostSecret app and wondered if ppl got the courage to post there after reading this post… I try to reply to those secrets when I see them pop up on the app.
Tishasays
For me, it’s all about location/context. I expect to see those signs at Babies R Us, since expectant moms are their target. Even so, I still get a bit of a twinge in my stomach every time I see one. But seeing the signs in malls, grocery stores, and banks? That’s just a straight punch to the gut.
Keikosays
Agreed. Babies/Toys R Us? Sure. CVS? Whole Foods? Phtttt, please.
The signs like these at Babies R Us never bothered me, it is after all a store for baby crap, and when suffering infertility I avoided that place like the plague. However, when those signs started popping up at grocery stores around here I was pretty miffed. WTH? At least they don’t have these signs up at the package store 🙂 (that’s a store that sells liquor, for non New England ppl)
Keikosays
They’re at the CVS stores up here. Or as I like to call these spaces, “where I park anytime I need to pick up anything at the CVS, damnit!” 🙂
Definitely so true. I used to hate the ones at regular stores (ie the grocery store) even more. They should make an addendum to say “those expecting or those who wish like hell they were expecting”.
I’ve never actually seen this kind of sign anywhere in real life! My younger sister would have loved it when she was pregnant with twins and we went out shopping. It seems like we always ended up parking at the back of the lot.
But yeah – if I had to see it every time I went to the grocery store or library, it would get me down. It would just be another reminder of what’s wrong with me.
It’s nuts how there can be reminders everywhere – it’s like once you’re diagnosed, it’s like you’ve got infertility-colored glasses on. Totally makes you see the world with different eyes.
Even when I COULD use those spaces, I didn’t want to. My husband, my friends, my mother encouraged me to take advantage of them, but something in me, something psychlogical felt wrong about doing so. Very, very wrong.
I was still able to walk. I wasn’t differently-abled and required the space closer to the store. So for most of that time, I continued to use the “regular” parking spaces. I do confess, in the last three or four weeks, I did on occasion use them; simply because it was a chore to move around. Luckily I was usually able to send Hubby to run the errands for me! 🙂
Seeing these signs now makes me cringe a little. Yes, I may have found the other side, BUT I’m still infertile. And hell yeah, infertility has definitely changed me.
Powerful stuff Gil, especially about how infertility stays with you, even if you have resolved. I didn’t know they had these signs up in Canada too! I thought it was a (fat/lazy) American thing 😉
a completely different POV…
as a mom this sign completely bothers me! What are expecting moms disabled and can’t walk now?
It’s kind of amazing how pregnancy is still technically classified as a disability, even in the context of the Family Medical Leave Act, too. Annoying indeed!
Whenever I see IF post secrets, I always wonder if they are from one of “us”, and if they aren’t, I always send a silent prayer that the person finds the ALI community.
I saw a few yesterday on the PostSecret app and wondered if ppl got the courage to post there after reading this post… I try to reply to those secrets when I see them pop up on the app.
For me, it’s all about location/context. I expect to see those signs at Babies R Us, since expectant moms are their target. Even so, I still get a bit of a twinge in my stomach every time I see one. But seeing the signs in malls, grocery stores, and banks? That’s just a straight punch to the gut.
Agreed. Babies/Toys R Us? Sure. CVS? Whole Foods? Phtttt, please.
The signs like these at Babies R Us never bothered me, it is after all a store for baby crap, and when suffering infertility I avoided that place like the plague. However, when those signs started popping up at grocery stores around here I was pretty miffed. WTH? At least they don’t have these signs up at the package store 🙂 (that’s a store that sells liquor, for non New England ppl)
They’re at the CVS stores up here. Or as I like to call these spaces, “where I park anytime I need to pick up anything at the CVS, damnit!” 🙂
Definitely so true. I used to hate the ones at regular stores (ie the grocery store) even more. They should make an addendum to say “those expecting or those who wish like hell they were expecting”.
I totally park in these spaces out of spite.
Ouch. (((Hugs)))