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“I feel so much spring.”

Mar. 17, 2010 by Keiko Zoll

I feel so much spring within me
Blow, winds, blow, spring has just begun.
And something’s taken wing within me,
What was dark so long had felt like winter,
Finally there’s sun.
And so I sing…
That I feel so much Spring.
– from the musical, “A New Brain”

It is simply glorious out today. Tree branches are dotted with little red possibilities of leaves. The air smells fresher, full of vigor. The cloudless robin’s egg blue sky is only occasionally streaked by planes leaving their soundless white wakes. The warmth in the air brings a blush to my cheeks, makes my blood hum in the veins just beneath my skin.

I am remarkably okay with tomorrow being tomorrow. Larry comes home at 11:30am, and I’ve got a massage lined up at 3:30pm. Tomorrow, I do for me. Tomorrow, I’m reclaiming a little bit of of the femininity I felt I’ve lost over the last year. This means makeup, doing my hair for the first time in forever, hell, maybe even a skirt. I am going to thoroughly enjoy my day off tomorrow, and soak up this lovely pre-Equinox weather.

While I don’t necessarily want to end such a truly relaxed post with a downer, I’ve started my epic birth control- I call it epic, b/c I’m supposed to take it for 3 months straight. Anywho, it’s been almost 10 years since I first started taking birth control, and over year since I’ve had this much estrogen dumped into my system. Um, it’s knocking me off my ass with nausea. I actually had the dry heaves this morning when I woke up and then proceeded to throw up at work once I got there. Not fun. I had the same thing happen when I was 18, and the nausea was on and off for about a solid month – I’m hoping I acclimate a little faster. But I’m not going to let a lil queasiness stop me from enjoying today’s beautiful weather.

Tonight, it’s time to get some spring cleaning on. I’ve left the windows open all day to air out the apartment, and now that it smells all fresh and springy in here, I should probably start that deep clean that is always so desperately needed after a long winter of clutter.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day. And yes, I get to wear green and drink Guinness (well, not with the way my tummy is feeling) too – b/c in addition to being a half-Japanese Jew-by-choice, I’m also half-Irish 😀 The more you know, right?

*raises a pint* To spring, to beginnings, to moving on: Sláinte!

Healing, Hope, Keiko's Infertility Journey

Comments

  1. Kathy says

    Oct. 15, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    I am here from the future via Time Warp Tuesday and really enjoyed this post Keiko!

    This line really struck me:

    “I am remarkably okay with tomorrow being tomorrow.”

    Happy St. Patrick’s Day from almost Halloween in the future! 🙂

    I hope you enjoyed your special day just for you, the wearin’ of the green and your pint (if your stomach was able to handle it)! Cheers! 🙂

  2. Sonja says

    Mar. 18, 2010 at 5:11 AM

    I'm enjoying our first glimpses of spring too! Isn't it great?

    Good luck with the bcps!

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