So I’ve come out of hibernation for a bit. It’s that whole spring reawakening thing. I don’t know how much I plan to update… the emotional release that was so vital and cathartic a year ago doesn’t seem as relevant or pressing now.
Exciting updates…
Larry has a job! He starts Monday. He’ll be in Georgia for most of the week for some paperwork and training, but it’s a great job and an excellent fit for his goals and interests. And the money’s not bad either 😉
I’m only 3 months away from being an Aunt! Otter just passed the 6-month mark. I’m helping with shower planning and am getting excited about starting some neat craft projects for Spudette (it’s a girl).
We are moving! There’s been some stirrings at my job and I need to switch buildings on campus. (We’d literally be moving 2 buildings over, maybe a hundred yards at best.) There’s potentially a promotion happening with this as well. While the apartment would be bigger, and presumably the paychecks, I’m not thrilled. I’m actively job hunting, and looking to get out of student housing as soon as humanly possible. Mostly I just need to not work for my current boss and this institution.
Other updates…
Facing some interesting and tough choices, some of which need to be made as a couple, and others I need to wrestle with on my own. The first is whether we buy a house or start a family. The fact that we even need to consider this financially still angers me. Presumably, all couples should consider this, but a down-payment on a house and the cost to conceive or adopt are pretty much on par with one another. It boggles the fucking mind.
The other choice is a personal one: whether we go DE/IVF or adopt. And then if adoption, do we go domestic or international? *insert cash register sounds here* It’s a deeply personal struggle, b/c as I’ve said many times before, I feel like pregnancy would be a healing experience for me. But adoption carries a pretty much 100% guarantee of a family. There are so many pros and cons for each, and I’ve been writing them out and pondering them a lot recently, b/c we need to make a decision and soon. I know- we’re not even 30 yet, but seeing as either route can take some time, and that I wanted to have children basically AT age 30, we need to get the wheels turning.
This has probably been the most complex decision I’ve ever had to make. Larry is on board for whatever path I choose, but right now, the decision is pretty much up to me. He’s leaning more toward adoption, and in some ways, so am I… it’s just really hard to let go of an idea that has held such a grip on me, that I’d be able to just pop out a baby, donor egg or otherwise. I suppose when something’s biologically hardwired into your brain, the decision to reject that notion should be frought with struggle.
So that’s pretty much the state of the union. I’m still not sure what’s going on with my doc (see my previous post) or when I’m starting HRT. Other good news: we should be getting a substantial refund again this year… I’m one of the few ppl that loves tax season.
So yeah. I’m back, I suppose. Lots of stuff on my mind as of late. Lots to ponder. In some ways, just barely keeping it all together but trying to do so with as much of a smile as possible.
So exciting about Ari's job.
I hope you will find some peace at whatever decision you make. Sounds like you're on the verge of some big and exciting things!
As someone who has POF and went the donor egg route, I can only say it really does heal a lot of those feelings of loss. Donor egg is very successful in POF patients as you may know. Also it looks like you live in Massachusetts which has one of best mandatory health coverage for IVF. I am usually not someone who comments much or has an opinon, and had lots of reservations about going this route, I am just thankful every day that I did. (We have three kids now too!)