The PCOS Journey Never Ends: It Goes On and On…

Welcome to the 2014 Voices of PCOS blog series at The Infertility Voice, in honor of PCOS Awareness Month!

The PCOS Journey Never Ends: It Goes On and On…

By Melissa Buyikian

Growing up I always assumed I would have kids of my own. I loved playing with baby dolls, babysitting my younger cousins and assisting my mom in teaching Catechism classes. I had my life planned out as a teenager: I would go to college, get married and have a family of my own. I went to college, earning my Bachelor’s degree, got accepted into law school and married my wonderful husband.

After graduating with my law degree, we thought it would be time to try and start a family of our own, only somewhat aware that we might have difficulty conceiving because I suffer from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS.

I was diagnosed with PCOS at age 17 after years of a cousin (who also has PCOS) telling my mom to have me tested. I had classic symptoms: weight gain, excess body hair and abnormal cycles, but because I ate healthy, wasn’t obese and was very active neither my mom nor I thought anything was really wrong.

When we went to the gynecologist, however, she tested me and confirmed that I had PCOS. To help manage my symptoms and regulate my cycles, she put me on birth control and sent me on my way. I remember my cousin telling me that when I was ready to have kids I just needed to stop taking the pill and I’d get pregnant, since that had worked for her.

That was definitely not the case for me.

When my husband and I decided to try to get pregnant, my gynecologist told me to stop taking my birth control pill and see what happened for a year. One year went by and nothing. I wound up having to have surgery to remove a cyst on my ovary and my right fallopian tube because it wasn’t functioning. My doctor referred us to an infertility specialist and wished us luck.

I called that day and we had to wait weeks before we could even get in to see our reproductive endocrinologist, but that was okay. We were excited to take the next step – we hadn’t done much research at this point to be honest, and I think we both felt like we’d get a magic pill or have IVF performed and our prayers would be answered.

I felt comfortable with our new doctor because she too had PCOS and showed us pictures of the children she conceived with the help of Clomid and Metformin. Never once did she discuss any other medication or diet changes. We tried cycle after cycle of clomid (eight cycles in total) and nothing. Finally, she discussed moving us on to injectables.

At that point I started to get a little nervous. Our insurance didn’t cover any of the cost of the injections or intrauterine inseminations (IUI) that we would have to undergo. One box of medication cost us $450 and I was going through five boxes – at least – per cycle.

I did some research on my own while undergoing these injections and three failed cycles later, eventually had lost some weight and was making better choices by following a balanced carb/protein diet for my PCOS symptoms. I started seeing a chiropractor and trying some light yoga and adding more exercise into my daily routines.

Finally we fell pregnant (by IUI) after only having one follicle. Even more miraculously our single pregnancy split into three-identical triplets. I remember everyone in the fertility treatment kind of staring at us in wonder because our case was so rare. We picked out names: Emma, Abby and Hope for girls or Jacob, Ryan and Samuel for boys. We were so excited!

When we found out we were having triplets, we were immediately sent to see a high risk pregnancy OB. Our first ultrasound there went fine, but when we went back weeks later, the tone in the room was decidedly different. Nobody would look at my husband or me and we were staring up at a screen where I could see three little shapes that I knew hadn’t gotten any bigger from the last time. Sadly, we found out that I miscarried at 11 weeks. It was the most devastating thing to experience.

We did later learn that our babies were girls.

Life after that was a fog for almost a full year, going through the motions of being happy for those around us who were pregnant, but miserable that we weren’t. When my two very dear friends gave birth to their babies – on the same day we had been given for a due date – I broke down all over again.

We have tried three more times since our pregnancy with no success. We’re gearing to go again because we haven’t given up hope yet and I’m still learning to try and manage my PCOS. I’ve lost 63 pounds and am at the lowest weight I’ve been since high school. My lab work has come back well and I no longer need to be on Metformin. Our journey is going on eight years, simply because our insurance didn’t help much and treatment is mentally, physically, emotionally and monetarily draining – but we have faith that we can overcome this.

Infertility is a scary term, one most people don’t understand. It was something I was very ashamed of when I started my journey, but now I don’t hesitate to explain to people who tell me “Just relax, you’ll be fine. Go on vacation; everyone gets pregnant then” or the worst, “be glad you don’t have kids” just exactly what our struggle is.

---

Melissa Buyikian is a busy 32-year old who spends her days working as a Clerk at a Court, dance instructor at a local dance studio, and baking sugar cookies. She loves spending time with her husband and family. She doesn’t blog often simply because there aren’t enough hours in the day, but she somehow manages to tweet daily @peyton4life.