Welcome to the 2014 Voices of PCOS blog series at The Infertility Voice, in honor of PCOS Awareness Month!
Parenting With PCOS
By Kelly B.
Editor’s Note: Please be aware this post discusses pregnancy and parenting.
I will be the first to admit – when I was pregnant with my son it was pretty easy. We didn’t have to chart or plan or anything. All of the sudden, I was pregnant!
Parenting was a bit more challenging than we anticipated, so we put off our plan of having a second child when our first was a year old. When he turned two, we decided that we would be okay if I got pregnant. Boom! I was pregnant. Then came the roller coaster ride we’ve been on ever since.
A devastating miscarriage followed by charts, temps, ovulation tests, pregnancy tests… None of it was easy and it took a toll on body and my mind.
I was constantly letting the results of each negative pregnancy test dictate my mood. I was letting my moods translate into how I parented my son. I wasn’t being the best mom I could be and I didn’t know how to change that.
My son is a wonderful human being. He is kind and funny. He loves playing with other kids. He is gentle with kids younger than him and he would be a wonderful older brother – and it breaks my heart that I can’t give that to him, yet.
It took time and, if we are being honest here, therapy – for me to be able to deal with my feelings regarding my miscarriage and inability to get pregnant a year later.
Finally, I was able to see an RE who was wonderful to work with. We did all the tests, blood work, and doctor visits before we got the word that I do in fact, have PCOS. Getting this diagnosis is not always easy, but it does give me hope to know that women with PCOS do get pregnant, and I have hope that I too will be able to have another baby.
Not everyone with PCOS is the same. Not everyone with PCOS has cysts and not everyone with cysts has PCOS. The journey is different for every single one of us. Mine is not your typical PCOS with cysts; mine is more of an ovulation issue. The RE’s office is handling most of the tracking business and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, while I am sure there will still be lots of emotions, knowing that I don’t have to handle any of the “other stuff” is a relief.
This whole year has taught me so much about myself, including and about myself as a parent. In order to be the best parent I can be, I have to deal with my struggles head on. Stuffing them away to deal with later will never happen. They explode at the most random moments – moments when I should be playing Legos with my son, or reading stories at bedtime. I am not saying that these things won’t happen, but when I deal with my emotions I am a better parent and wife.
For me, therapy and exercise have been my answer. It might not be for everyone, but it works for me. I have a safe space to dwell on things and instead of letting it affect how I parent.
I don’t know what’s in store for me or for my family, but I am happy to see what comes next.
Kelly is a wife and stay-at-home mom who lives just outside of Boston, MA. She is an amateur baker with a passion for all kinds of fitness. Follow her journey on her blog at Cupcake Kelly’s or check out her photos on Instagram
