Snarky, short answer: right here, silly.
Longer, more convoluted answer: it’s complicated.
I haven’t posted here since late February and that’s no good. Spam comments have begun piling up in my Akismet queue. Pageviews are down. I can practically see the virtual tumbleweeds that blow across the main landing page of my site. Truth is, it’s not like I’ve been crazy busy and have had no time to blog. Ironically, just as I finally come back to this space, things are really picking up right now.
I’ve been dealing with a lot emotionally and it’s kept me from this space. I’ve spent the last week – seriously, a whole week – working on a single post talking about that more in detail. In writing it, it’s now become a sprawling monster of a post that I think I’m going to need to break up into a couple of posts. Hoping to finally finish writing it this weekend to post early next week. If you’re really curious, here’s a preview.
I wanted to touch base and let folks know that yes, I’m alive, yes the Knish is still growin’ like a fiend and that everyone is a-ok.
Also: I have a very healthy* appetite right now.
* * *
I’ve been thinking about about this space: what it means to me but more importantly – what it means to you. I’ve certainly felt a major shift in my identity, one that’s bound to get even more complicated once the Knish gets here in June.
No matter what… I just can’t walk away from this space. I’ve got too much heart and history invested here. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t want to walk away from this space. At the same time, I want to be cognizant of what a shifting identity means – how do I honor and keep this space for those that need it? And how do I do that in a compassionate, sensitive way?
So, with that in mind, I’ve been thinking about how I want to shape this space in the coming months – and I would love you to help me shape this space for you. I wanted to reach out to y’all because let’s face it: you can’t blog in a vacuum. This space is as much for you (if not more so) than it is for me, after nearly four years of blogging.
I’d love your input and perspective and I’d love to have it be a dialogue with the community. So rather than just throw up a simple form and collect your answers, you can comment anonymously on this post only so that you can speak freely and also respond to other people’s comments if you feel so moved. I know my comment form asks for a name and email, but just plug in a burner email and pseudonym to comment anonymously.
So please – feel free to be honest. Here’s what I’d love to learn from you:
- How did you find The Infertility Voice? What brought you here?
- What is it about The Infertility Voice that keeps you coming back here to read?
- What are your favorite types of posts? Your least favorite?
- What do you want to see more of here? Less of?
- When you think of The Infertility Voice – what does that mean to you?
- How has The Infertility Voice helped you?
- Any other thoughts, concerns, suggestions – I’m all ears.
I hope you’ll feel free to comment honestly and candidly. Looking forward to your thoughts.
I got here probably searching things about Hannah and Sarah some time ago. I adore your advocacy posts. nowhere else in the bloggy waters does anyone else do advocacy like you do (in a way I can relate to and with actions to do something about what’s wrong that even shy little me can do). I’m really interested to see what’s next in your writing and understanding of IF, wherever that may be.
I found you through “What If” too. Back then your blog was Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed (or was it the other way around? I always forgot!) I loved your sense of humor, your kickass writing, your authenticity and your fighting spirit. I come here a lot to check for updates 🙂
I think your writing lifts up a lot of people. There’s something so inspirational about what you write about and, well, maybe HOW you write about it that seems very unique and refreshing.
I’ll follow you wherever.
Clearly, lots of people are thinking about why they blog, I noticed a few linked posts in people’s replies questioning why they blog, including mine. Huh.
How did you find The Infertility Voice? What brought you here?
I was rather late to the party, I think, having found you through last year’s FB chat during NIAW. I appreciated your honesty and candor there, so knew I’d found another kindred spirit in the computer.
What is it about The Infertility Voice that keeps you coming back here to read?
You don’t shy away from tackling the difficult issues and advocacy themes head on. This blog is about your story, as the blog of course should be; but, you also do something that many similar blogs don’t, and that’s expand the story to include the world outside yourself. Through your recent posts it’s abundantly clear that you are struggling to find your new role. I think your new role is the same as the old – give a voice to infertility the issue, not just you the couple with infertility. (Though, I still want to hear about you, as well!)
What are your favorite types of posts? Your least favorite?
Those with ample snark, especially when zeroed in on the hell that is Hashi’s. Also, the Personhood Pop Quiz rocked my world.
How has The Infertility Voice helped you?
It’s been a long while since I’ve been shy about my infertility, but this site often injects me with a mega-dose of “I can do this, I am strong!” right when I most need it. I’ve shared several of your posts with friends and family as a way of summarizing some of my feelings, fears, worries, and what if’s when I haven’t had the strength to form the words myself.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, and keep it up!
I found Infertility Voice through your facebook page. I was looking for a support community where I could feel like people know what I am going through. I like the honesty of your page and feel that everybody who contributes knows and supports one another. I also like the news you share about the infertility community going on around the country.
I wish there were more posts relating to male infertility. Almost all of the blogs and groups out there focus on women’s health issues. Also, I wish that sometimes choosing not to pursue IVF or other medical procedures was discussed. My husband and I are often made to feel we must not really want children if we aren’t willing to do anything and everything to get it.
Literally just finished writing about this (from a post I started weeks ago and was too chicken to publish). We need to talk about this more. We NEED to allow “pregnancy and infertility” to be a conversation that steps outside its marginal status and acknowledge that it is a real thing and not a paradox of mutually exclusive paired events. I’m looking forward to your next post on this <3
I don't have anything I want from this site that I'm not already getting, and I'm excited to see how your transition from IFer to pregnant IFer to parenting IFer enhances and enrichens your perspective on infertility and how you talk about it. I know it will continue to be a real resource to me and the rest of the ALI blogging world!
I found you page because I was looking for community. I wanted to learn more about infertility and know that I was not alone.The site helps when I feel like we are all alone. When it feels like we are facing childless lives, the site helps me fight for hope of a different life. We can’t afford ART so we are looking for better ways, options and advocacy; which we have found with this site and others like it. This site possesses questions and asks how things are and how we can make them better with Resolve. The site also offers a personal, fun view of life that I can relate to. I don’t want you to feel that because you have conquered and moved to another level that you don’t still have insight or things to offer. You have a whole new opportunity to give hope and insight of thing as you see them, with the experience of the struggle with infertility. Plus only people that have been there have the ability to add humor, which you do so well. I am happy for you and I hope that you continue with the core of the site but add your ever changing life experience to it because it is who you are.
I found your prior blog from your What IF video and kept following from there! I’ll read whatever form of posts you have in the future too. The ranty advocacy posts are what I get here that I don’t necessarily get elsewhere, but I enjoy the real life-stuff too, and I’m sure you’ll have interesting things to say about parenting after IF once you get there 🙂 All of our journeys are fluid, so you shouldn’t feel like this site is stuck in time.
How did you find The Infertility Voice? What brought you here? – I think I found you through the “What IF” video that you created. I followed the “Sarah wept, Hannah Laughed” blog for a long time until it changed into “The Infertility Voice”.
What is it about The Infertility Voice that keeps you coming back here to read? – I like the news and events from around the country that relate to infertility and knowing that there are other people going through what I am going through.
What are your favorite types of posts? Your least favorite? – My favorite type of posts are the ones that I see myself in. I struggled with IF for 4+ years before giving up last year. I don’t have children.
My least favorite types of posts are the ones about pregnancy and children. I understand that you are pregnant and I’m happy for you, but I don’t want to hear the details about it and can’t see myself in them. A simple statement that you are still pregnant is enough for me. The details can go somewhere else.
What do you want to see more of here? Less of? – More information on how to deal with infertility, fight legislators, community support, etc. Less baby-related stuff.
When you think of The Infertility Voice – what does that mean to you? – The title implies that it will carry the voice of all infertiles, regardless of how we ended up this way. However, it hasn’t been doing that in a long time.
How has The Infertility Voice helped you? – It has provided resources and community support.
Any other thoughts, concerns, suggestions – I’m all ears. – Don’t disappear again for so long. The title of this post “Where the hell have I been lately” sums it up. You used to post multiple times a week, then it went to once a week, then once every other week and now it is more like once a month. WTF!!
One thing I like about your space that sets you apart is your willingess to engage in advocacy around infertility and it’s treatments. I hope you will continue your work and focus in that area! It is needed!
I found you through your “What IF” video, though I can’t remember exactly now how I found that, but I remember that it touched me deeply and I had to find out who was behind it. I’ve been reading since before The IF Voice actually. I keep coming back because I so appreciate your intelligent and compassionate take on infertility issues. I tend to agree with your views on everything and in some ways you help me work out how I feel about certain things, through your takes on them. I love all the posts, though I suppose the sponsored ones a little less so (but I understand why they must be!). I love the issue-related IF stuff you cover, but I also like hearing your personal story and I really don’t think that just because you’re currently pregnant that it makes you any less relevant but this is of course coming from someone who is also pregnant (and due at the almost same exact time!).
I came here because I think you’re pretty freakin’ awesome. 🙂 Really … I came for the story. Beginning to end. Advocacy I believe in, information that is useful … but more so, for the you that is behind this space. Whom I admire more than I can express here.
I’m sorry that you’ve been in a difficult place. I *will* tell you (not that it makes you feel better) that you’re one of the reasons I finally got myself to a therapist last month. It was long overdue. Possibly dating back to before N was born. And maybe even longer. Jury’s still out on how it’s going, but I’m glad I’m there. *grateful*
■How did you find The Infertility Voice? What brought you here?
Ehhh…….I forget; have I been lurking that long?!!
■What is it about The Infertility Voice that keeps you coming back here to read?
A “kindred spirit;” a sense that someone knows what I am going through and is honest enough to talk about it so that the rest of us don’t feel crazy. Even though I never felt ashamed of my diagnosis, The Infertility Voice has made me feel empowered, more able to talk about it, and has given me a little – shall we say – virtual emotional stability via the internetz. 😉
■Any other thoughts, concerns, suggestions – I’m all ears.
I appreciate your willingness to put your thoughts and feelings out there for our perusal. I cannot yet imagine the emotional aspect of pregancy after infertility, as I am still stuck in the infertility part. But I enjoy reading about your pregnancy, and I don’t inwardly glower at you, as I do with some other pregnant women (ha!). I guess I feel that you are, and always will be, one of “us.” Infertility is a club that no one wants to belong to, but there is a sense of togetherness and support nonetheless. So that’s what I appreciate about the blog – randomness, pregnancy updates, advocacy, and all. 🙂