The Infertility Voice™

An Online Hub for the Infertility Community — by the Infertility Community

An announcement, a proposal, a prayer and a promise.

by

I have been writing this post, over and over and over, trying best to figure out just how I was going to phrase my words to you today. There’s so much I want to say, so I imagine this will be a wordy post. I figured the best way to get through it all was to break it down into four parts: an announcement, a proposal, a prayer and a promise.

1. An announcement.

I know you have all been eagerly waiting all weekend for my beta results, many of you leaving comments at my Facebook page or some beautifully encouraging tweets showing your support and care. It has meant so very, very much to me and Larry and every time I got an email notification about another comment or another tweet – it just made my day all over again. To be loved and supported and cared for by this community has been simply overwhelming and humbling. Thank you all so much.

I won’t keep you in suspense any longer.

My first beta on Thursday came in at 255. My second beta 48 hours later more than doubled at 522.

I’m pregnant! 🙂

For so long, the idea of typing those two words on my blog seemed like some crazy improbability, in the way that I knew that POF was an improbability all those years ago, I thought: it’s never gonna be me. And yet, here we are.

The smile on Larry’s face when we got the news over the phone: it’s an image of genuine shock, joy and relief burned into my brain I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget. Our parents and family are overjoyed. And as the news has settled in over the weekend, especially after the second beta, I’m just so excited and giddy and relieved and grateful and just plain joyful 🙂

Sore boobs, nausea, the occasional uterine twinge, a sense of smell that could put a bloodhound to shame and weird hunger/fullness issues: this actually feels real.

2. A proposal.

I am fully aware that the instant I typed “I’m pregnant,” the entire dynamic of this blog has changed. For many of you, I know the simultaneous joy and sadness that comes in seeing those words on another blog.

For those of you still waiting, still hoping: I have thought about you almost every second since I got the good news. It was thinking about you that caused me to write this over and over and over again, because I know how incredibly painful this post can be to read. I have worked very hard to cultivate an ALI-sensitive environment here because I care so deeply about each of you and I know that this very post really tests those emotional limits.

I know, because I’ve been there too. And I remember how I was at once both joyful and sad readings posts like these, longing for my own announcement one day, typing “congrats” and “mazel tov” through the tears. Believe me, I know now: I’m typing through tears as I write this post, in it’s tenth iteration at this point.

While this blog is very much about me and my family building journey, a chronicle of my life through the lens of infertility, it also exists for the infertility community and for each and every one of you. It has never been – and will never be – my intention to hurt any of you.

As such, I will continue to keep the essence of The Infertility Voice the same by moving detailed posts about my pregnancy to a separate page on this blog. However, I will keep some selected posts as they relate generally to pregnancy after infertility featured on the main page of this blog.

But those detailed posts about my pregnancy: belly shots, doctor’s visits, the joys of Crinone goop in your vag – all of that will now go under a new section on the grey menu bar above: Go Team Zoll.

Also, if you are reading this in an RSS feed, fret not: any posts labeled with the “My Pregnancy” category will not appear in your RSS feed. Hooray for some fancy PHP code and the magic of WordPress. Fingers crossed it works. We’ll find out tomorrow when I put up my first detailed “My Pregnancy” post.

This way, if you choose to follow along for all the gory details, you can always head to the Go Team Zoll page for the latest in my pregnancy mayhem. Just be prepared: lots of vagina and boob talk for sure. Sweet Jesus, already with the boobs. Would you expect anything less from me? 😉 I’ll also have a widget in the sidebar to the right listing the titles of the 5 most recent posts in the “My Pregnancy” category, too.

3. A prayer.

I am keenly aware that today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. That’s another reason this post has been so challenging to write because I know many of you will be observing today in some way. I’m also keenly aware that I’m technically only five-ish weeks pregnant today, and that’s still very, very early. We have a VERY long road ahead of us.

I have a LOT more I want to say about recognizing today and the uniqueness of where I’m at right now since I’ve recognized this awareness day for the last two years. However, I’ll be sharing my thoughts in a separate post this evening around 8pm EST. Check it out tonight.

My prayer for each of you is this:

May your voice sing songs of joy.
May your heart be filled with abundance.
May your feet know grounded gratitude on a sure path.
May your hands find connection in another.
May your journey be memorable,
your wake profound and your destination reached.

4. A promise.

“What are you going to do about your blog?” Larry asked me, munching fries on Thursday. We had gone out to get burgers for lunch after we got the news.

“I plan to keep writing it,” I said. “It’s kind of my brand*, yanno? But it’s more than that.”

*I am such a Communications Major it hurts sometimes.

This blog is more than just a brand. It’s been my virtual home, an online community, a place of catharsis, refuge and empowerment. I have no intentions of ending this blog in the foreseeable future.

I imagine that some things will inevitably change, but at its heart, The Infertility Voice remains the same. The Infertility Voice will always be:

  • An online empowerment resource for infertility patients seeking support and compassion during their family-building journeys;
  • A voice to the infertility community’s needs, universality of experiences and above all else, the validity of our community’s desire to one day parent;
  • An advocate to free infertility from cultural shame and silence and to catalyze a national, open and compassionate dialogue about infertility as a disease;
  • An open forum for the entire infertility community: patients, prospective parents, legislators, leaders and organizations who seek to raise awareness of and advocate for the infertility community.

My guiding pillars are that The Infertility Voice empowers every one of you to live a fertile life, embrace hope, speak up and be informed. These will never change. How I approach those pillars might, but they make up the foundation of what this blog is about.

Just because I’ve seen two lines doesn’t mean I’m dropping everything to go become a mommyblogger, however loaded a term that may be AND to be honest – how much I kind of want to be one. I may have to start a side blogging project to work some of that out of my system but none of that belongs here. I’ve got a few bloggy ideas brewing.

I want every one of you to know that this blog exists for YOU, at the end of the day. And just because I’m pregnant, it doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten about you. Because you matter. Because your stories matter.

Even though I’m pregnant, I refuse to develop infertility amnesia.

I promise to fight harder for this community.

I promise to raise awareness like never before.

I promise to stay grounded and grateful.

I promise to honor the support you’ve shown me by NOT giving up on you.

I know that some of you will leave after this post. It’s inevitable and I respect that. I’ve done that too, moving away from a newly pregnant blogger after infertility just for the sake of my own emotional health. I know that this post, in all its joy means you might be saying goodbye to this blog. If you are going, please know that I wish you well – and one other very important thing:

You are always welcome back, no questions asked. I promise there will always be a place for you here. Because this blog is for you.

And finally:

Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. For the tweets. For the emails. For the comments. For the abundant goodness in the world, the kindness, the compassion, the grace – for hopes and prayers answered. For profound growth and trust in the unknown. For our egg donor. For witnessing a miracle of science, nature, faith, friendship and love. For new beginnings and adventures.

For Team Zoll #3.

And maybe even a #4 🙂

Comments

  1. So excited for your wonderful news! Looking forward to following the blog after just meeting you at the Graco event. This post also brought me to tears.. you show a lot of heart for all of your audience.

  3. Congratulations!! I also wanted to say how much I appreciated the ccareful & thoughtful way you broke the news. : ) Have a happy & healthy 9 months!

  6. Mazel tov! Such excellent news! The whole goal of this journey is to get pregnant and have a baby. No need to be apologetic about it (remind you of that awkward moment our community faced aces months back?). Of course not all of us are the voice of infertility and do such an amazing job at it like you do (i speak for my blog mostly). Just know there are many of out there very pleased for you.

  7. Just wanted to be sure to give you a BIG CONGRATS!!!! Honestly if I read this announcement even 6 months ago I would have be heartbroken, devastated and angry that it wasn’t me sharing that wonderful news, but as I sit here tonight my heart is full of joy and excitement, as my husband and I too will be undergoing IVF in the near future…your experiences, your stories, your blog gives me renewed hope! Thank=you so much for sharing your journey with us all. Wishing you a healthy, happy and well deserved 9 months (okay 10 months i know, i know) 🙂

  9. Congratulations! Great betas!

    I think your post is so nice to think about the people that did not cross to the other side with you. I think you will find a whole new set of emotions setting in and infertility will never leave your life so this blog will always be a place everyone can turn to.

    Congrats again!

  11. such wonderful news!!!!!!! thrilled for you. Can’ imagine better news. Thanks for sharing. I’ll be following along. I know that its been a long journey to get to this point. I hope the next portion of your journey is clear sailing!!!!!!

  14. The best news. I am so incredibly excited and happy for you and Larry.

    And what a typically sensitive, wonderful and graceful way to move into your next phase.

    Team Zoll, FOREVER.

  15. Keiko- I tweeted you but for some reason youre not following me anymore ;( I just want you to know I am beyond thrilled and excited for you and Larry. Congratulations!!!’
    Cassie & Gabriel

  16. Keiko! This is the most wonderful news, please add mine to the chorus of “mazel tovs” and “hoorays!”

  18. Congratulations!! You give me hope that one day{praying soon } it will happen for us. Thank-you for this blog.

  19. Congrats Keiko! I am so excited for you and look forward to reading your pregnancy journey! I am also grateful that you will fight for the infertility community and not forget those that are still struggling. You’re such a strong and awesome person! 🙂

  21. This couldn’t be happening to a more deserving couple. Congrats. Here’s to a happy healthy full term pregnancy! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

  22. Yaaaaay!!!!! Yay! You so deserve this. I have been waiting eagerly all weekend for this great news. Yay, Keiko! Now I get to live vicariously through you!

  23. Best post EVER!!!!!
    I am always so in love with the infertility community that gracefully “crossover”. I remember well that pang of duality about posting pregnancy stuff and yet still needing to express my anxiety that the other shoe might drop. Your dedication and kindness to your readers is beautiful. I can not wait to read the next update!!!!

  25. FINALLY, I’m home and can properly comment on your post! I read it this morning on my phone in between classes and just didn’t have the chance until now to comment.

    This has been such a long time coming…I read it this morning, but I’m crying again now. You have already proven yourself throughout the duration of your blog to be compassionate, understanding, and considerate. Even in sharing your joy (which you should!), we know that you’ll be nothing less than everything you’ve already shown yourself to be. In fact, you’ll be even MORE. 🙂 Love ya, girl!

  30. Amazing.. I was waiting all weekend too.! I am so thrilled for you both. Wishing you a smooth and joyous pregnancy.. Your blog has given me so much hope through my IVF journey this year.. This is the icing on the cake. Love and light from Australia. xxx

  31. I haven’t BAWLED on the bus in a good long time, and I don’t think I ever have out of pure JOYFULNESS. Shaking as I opened the post… and then THE TEARS! Just beyond thrilled. I can’t believe it!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOT!

  35. OMG – nothing but total happiness. love, and feelings of PEACE for you! Reading your announcement gave me chills – and lifted my spirits like you cannot imagine. I am so effing happy for you – near tears!

    You are having a BABY!!! A REAL BABY!

    JOY!!!!!

  36. Holy friggin’ cow…..first, how absolutely amazing science is! I smiled through tears as I saw that one splendid sentence, “I’m pregnant!” (and what a stellar beta, eh?) Second, I applaud (LOUDLY) your efforts in remaining sensitive and forgoing the amnesia for the rest of the community that is still struggling…you are fantastic, Go Team Zoll all the way!

  37. HOORAY!!! Congratulations! I am so happy for you and Larry! I kept thinking of you all weekend and was hoping and praying that you would have a smile plastered all over your face!
    I know that it is SOOOO hard to move from the waiting infertile to the pregnant infertile side – always approaching the pregnancy with cautious optimism…Don’t forget to let yourself continue to thrive in that hope – no, not hope – FAITH that everything is going to be smooth sailing and boring for you. (As a previous commenter said – BORING IS GOOD. It means NO DRAMA!!!)
    Now we just have to anxiously await the next step for you. Another beta or ultrasound next? I can’t wait to see how big the future of Team Zoll is!
    Oh – and the boobs were the first thing my DH noticed was different. Even before the BFP, he said my boobs were looking different…and it only got more evident from there.

  38. Congratulations, Keiko! I’ve been following you since you were back on your old blog and I’m so happy this day has finally come for you! Sending you best wishes for a very happy and healthy pregnancy. 🙂

  40. Pregnancy, and parenthood, doesn’t change the fact that we are survivors of infertility, or loss, or both. And you have been such a passionate and compassionate advocate for our community, that I know that won’t change. On the other hand, we have always been more than our inferility, as well. This is a tough one, and you handled it beautifully. I’m thrilled for you, and can’t wait to read the Grow Team Zoll posts. 🙂

  41. YEAH!! Congratulations! Great news. As to being true to the infertility community. I don’t think anyone actually suffers infertility amnesia. I think it’s more of selective thoughts and posts at time. You don’t forget something when it took so much out of you and fight to get through it. I think one of the biggest things you can do besides what you have planned is to be fairly open about it. I used to not think so when we found out about our twins and “pretended” it was a surprise. Now I fully admit that I have infertility problems and needed help. So excited for you and Larry and your MVP(s). Take care 🙂

  42. I dont’ even know where to start! I am so so so so so happy for you and Larry. I can feel the gamut of emotions running through every word you wrote. I will pray for you all, and look forward to your updates!

    I love you 🙂
    Jamie

  43. Congratulations!!! I came home during lunch because I couldn’t stand not knowing. Thank you so much for sharing your journey, with grace, poise, hope, humor, and love for our community. You are a truly beautiful person! Your strength and positivity will be something I carry with me during my journey. Our family will continue to keep your family in our prayers.

    • Aww – thanks tickles me that you thought of me that much to actually come home to read my blog. How sweet! THank you so much for the well wishes!

  44. Congratulations!! This is such amazing news! I can’t wait to follow along as your journey continues! Thank YOU for being there for all of us and giving IF the voice it so desperately deserves. And also, that you for the PIO shot video. A true IF gem.

    • Thank you so much Laura for the kind words and well-wishes. I completely forgot I had another piece of good news… no more PIO shots!

  45. Grinning here! So happy for you, Keiko! I kind of guessed, too. From your tone responding to comments on your scheduled posts, and your tone in the comment you left for Dresden. Mazel tov, mama!

    • Damn! I was trying hard to keep it as subtle as possible but you’re right, I did kind of lose my shit over at Dresden’s blog with her HPT post 😉 Thanks for the well wishes!

  48. Keiko I am so very excited for you. I have been reading your blog for awhile now, and your announcement just makes me smile through my tears. I have been TTC for 4 plus years now, and after my 4th IVF cycle that we did out of state, I got my first BFP last Monday. I think you and I are only two days apart in due dates, so it will be fun to follow you on GoTeamZoll! Again congratulations to you and Larry!

    • Mazel tov on your BFP! I’m so glad that you’ve stuck around for all the fun through the years – looking forward to new adventures. Thank you for the well wishes!

  50. I’m reading this through tears. Keiko, you are pregnant!! I’m so very happy to see such wonderful betas and wish you nothing but a smooth pregnancy filled with many, many joyous moments. Congratulations!!!

    • Cristy, thank you so much. I know you are going through A LOT right now and I really appreciate that you swung by here to send your congrats. Thinking of and hoping for you.

  51. Congratulations a million times over! Being a former donor, ever DE pregnancy announcement is extra special to me. I am TRILLED for you and Larry!!!

  52. This is just so so so so so so so awesome!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!! Wishing you the most wonderful nine months!!!!!!!

  55. YES. YES. HELL TO THE YES.

    And with that Beta, may I suggest a 2XL blue jewel-toned mumu for the katie show?

    I promise you that you will never suffer infertility amnesia (that’s only for losers). Now, hemmorhoids….well, that’s an entirely different matter…

    I’m keeping everything crossed for you. Congrats on the great news. And extra hugs for your sensitivity in sharing it with the world.

    • Thank you so much Mel. It’s crazy to look back and think how I even got started blogging, how I found your blog and it was such a support to me, as it has been to so many others – and will continue to be. You remain my role model for being a voice for this community who speaks with grace, intelligence and passion. While still blogging about your kids and it doesn’t feel weird when you do it. Hoping I can do the same 🙂

  59. I am so, so, so happy for you two! Congratulations, and I have no doubt that it will be impossible for you to forget the pain of IF and that you will continue to be an amazing advocate for the community.

  60. Keiko… I don’t even know what to say. I knew in my heart it would work for you, but I also feel strangely emotionally for you. What a beautiful, powerful thing this whole experience has been for you. It’s just such a blessing and I could not be happier for you and Larry.

    I have a beautiful MP3 album of songs about conception (instrumental)– did I mention that or just mentally remind myself to mention it? Either way, they’re by Michael Whalen and if you’d like to hear them, leg me know. They really helped get me through the “pleasestickpleasestickpleasestick” early part of my pregnancy especially.

    So, so many congratulations <3

    • We’ve come a long way from Livejournal, no? 🙂 Thanks so much for the kinds words and I might just take you up on that MP3 offer. Definitely needing to calm my nerves 🙂

      • Hey, whenever you want those tracks, let me know! They are AMAZING and were such a source of peace and focus for me.

        I love that you responded to every single person who commented in here. It must have been a project <3

  62. I am so happy for these wonderful results!! You are in my prayers and good thoughts. I admire the sensitivity you posted your wonderful news as well. After over 21 years of trying my husband and I are now passing into our 17th week of pregnancy. Your blog has been such a great support for me in my struggles with infertility. Keep up the wonderful work that you do.

    • Jo Anne, I’m so glad this space has been a resource for you as well. Congrats on your pregnancy! And thank you for the warm wishes.

  64. I had a good feeling over the weekend about you guys and I am thrilled to be able to see these words this morning. Congratulations Keiko hon! You two (and your families) must be over the moon, and I’m so very happy to be able to share along in your journey. Yes, there’s a long way to go, and blogging about infertility and your own journey is a wonderful way to deal with all the nerves, stress, fear and joy that accompany a pregnancy. Much love to you and Larry as you navigate this new path… and as you bring us along for the ride! Smooches to you sweetie!

    • Thank you so much Gil. I found myself reading your post from so many years ago about feeling Petite move – it’s been really inspiring to me to remain positive and joyful in the moment.

  66. I am in the TWW for my first donor egg cycle. Your pregnancy announcement gives me soo much hope. Congrats!!!!!

    • Thank you so much for the well wishes and wishing you peace and joy in being PUPO during your 2ww! Hang in there 🙂

  68. So happy for you and Larry, Keiko. I’ve been waiting till morning EST to hear this! 🙂 Best wishes.

  69. Congrats, Keiko! I’m so happy for you. I love to see good things happen to good people! And, of course, you’re going to have a second feed. You are very thoughtful of others. Enjoy it. ♥

    • Thank you so much, Whitney. I know how hard today is and I’m deeply thankful for your kind words and well wishes. So many fingers and toes crossed for you in your surrogacy journey!

  70. Such awesome news Keiko! It gives me such hope to tey IVF. My doc told me a couple of weeks ago that we needed to go that route due to 5 miscarriages. I was not so happy to hear the news, but after attending a seminar and hearing of your luck I am beginning to look at it as a new hope for us! I am so excited for you and I will be reading all about your pregnancy! Thank you for recognizing Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Day today as I have 5 little angels that I was never able to meet. Best of Luck! <3

    • Thank you so much Sarah. I know how tough it can be to hear the “IVF” words from your doc- if you ever need to chat, want to really get in depth, please don’t hesitate to seek me out. I’m writing my Pg/Infant Loss post later today, because I think there are already some things I need to talk about that subject, even as a newly pregnant woman myself. Thinking of you and your five angels today – wishing you peace.

  71. Congratulations, Team Zoll! Crazy “Aunt” Natalie is going to have to start knitting little somethings to wrap around your little one(s)! I’m very happy for you.

    • Our kid(s) will just love Crazy Aunt Natalie and all of her fun knitted things, homemade delicious things, and sagely wisdom. Love you 🙂

  72. Whoo hoo!!!! I had a feeling! Congrats!! I’m so happy for you guys.. Wish I could rub your belly for good juju even if it’s weird. 😉 can’t wait to hear about the u/s!!!

    • No touching! 🙂 Lol, j/k – thank you. RE: u/s – I don’t even have it scheduled yet and I’m already going batty for it!

      • Mine was a joke too. 😉 when I was pregnant with my boys after ivf #3 I swore if anyone did that to me, I was going to rub their belly right back…. Especially strangers! These are also things to think about!! But you’ll love the u/s! And then we’ll see what kinda party is happening! Congrats again!!! So excited for you guys!!

  73. There are no words to express how happy I am for you and your growing family! I think your plan to move forward is respectful and shows your street smarts! Good for you! Can’t wait to tune into the updates! XOXO

    • Carolyn, thank you so much for all of your advice and support this weekend – it really, really meant a lot and you gave me the perspective I needed to approach this in the best way possible. Now – it’s time to celebrate! 🙂

  74. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you! I wish you and Larry both the best in this new phase of your lives!

    • Thank you EC – I hope some of this joy pans out for you today too – good luck on news of your transfer. Wishing you peace and calm in the wait.

  76. I KNEW IT!!! I’ve been thinking about you all weekend. Great number, great doubling time, Wooo- WHEE!!!!

    Infertility will always be a part of you, no matter what. In the meantime, I’m so freaking thrilled. YAY!!!

    xoxo

    • Sweet Jesus it feels good to finally say I’m pregnant, or my phrase of choice: KTFU (knocked the fuck up). Can I just tell you – I’ve deliberately avoided Pinterest so I wouldn’t accidentally give it away by sharing all these baby/pregnancy pins over the weekend 😉 Thank you for the well-wishes. It’s amazing that we get to share this together right now. Also, I just saw your post about food choices from a few posts back – I feel like I’m developing a complex right now re: food. We should chat.

      • I LOVE your choice of acronyms – KTFU. HA! Awesome. I saw you on gchat over the weekend and SOOOOO wanted to ask – I was so curious! – but totally wanted to respect your announcement today. 🙂

        Yes, let’s definitely talk re: food choices. Right now I’m in the “eat whatever sounds the best” phase, given the nausea that’s crept up on me. But it’s a balance, that’s for sure.

        Congratulations, again! I’m just so stinking happy for you. 🙂

  77. SQUEEEEEEEE! You don’t understand how much I have been stalking your blog this morning, First off, mazel tov, congratulations. I am so so SO happy and overjoyed for you! Second, I KNEW IT! Seriously, I did. First clue was when you commented on my blog about how close our transfers were. Also it just had to be because it just had to.

    What amazing beta #s and gorgeous doubling! I can’t wait to read about your pregnancy (we talked about this – about you specifically – on the podcast this week, should be out tomorrow-ish). I know you will handle it with so much grace, as you already have in this post. KEIKO, YOU’RE PREGNANT! Yay yay yay. Now I’m just hoping I STAY pregnant so we can be a few days apart, and only one town apart!, together.

    • Thank you so much Shelley. I mentioned in another reply that I almost spilled the beans on another blog… it was yours 🙂 More podcast love? I can’t handle this. I can’t handle this. Thank you so much – I can’t wait to listen. I have a bunch to catch up on, too. Also, my husband can’t stop saying to me, “Hey, you’re pregnant!” Like literally – 5 times a day. It’s adorable. And many, many congrats to you too – girl, we’re BOTH pregnant! 🙂

  78. I’m so happy for you! Thank you for your amazing blog and I am really looking forward to how it develops, both on the infertility side and pregnancy side. I have hope that my time will come sooner or later 🙂

  79. Oh, I am SO happy for you, Keiko!! I have been crying hysterically since I read the “I’m pregnant” line, and those Beta numbers, oh boy, you never know but maybe even TWO babies! And I know what that’s like. 😉

    But I want you to know, of course, that all my tears are tears of happiness. I am so, so, so, so $%*#ing happy for you, you have no idea. I have been following you and your story for so long, and I just want to say I pray and hope that this pregnancy will continue to the end, that it will be an easy pregnancy and a healthy birth, and I wish you all the blessings in the world.

    As for “survivors guilt”, ah, I know it well. I also know what it’s like to want to continue writing on infertility even when you’re “past it.” In truth, even when “infertility” becomes part of the past, it still remains a part of you, you will still have all the wonderful insights and tender sensitive spots. I know that your blog and your blogging will only grow and improve from this pregnancy. This will make you a better advocate.

    I LOVE YOU! Mazel tov, mazel tov, mazel tov.

    ~ Rachel

    • ….and now I’m crying. Rachel, thank you so much. Your column has often been such a source of amazing information and resources, and I’m so honored that we have connected online. I hope this does make me a better advocate, because now I can truly wrap my brain and heart around what it is we’re all fighting for in this community – and that our fight matters. THank you so much for the well-wishes – I am literally going nuts waiting for that first u/s to finally figure out just how many knishes we’re workin’ with here 🙂

      • Just something to keep in mind: Your first u/s may or may not resolve that question. Our first u/s showed only ONE baby. My husband even said to the tech, “Where’s the second one?” (And the tech, being SO kind, said, “Second, there’s only one!” So nice…)

        But THEN, at our next u/s, a different tech was checking for the heartbeat and then said to us… “How many children do you want?” 😉 I was thinking, OMG, please don’t have five in there!! She then showed us Baby A… and Baby B.

        So… just in case you only see one at the first u/s, thought I’d share this story.

        Much love,

        ~ Rachel

  80. This made my morning 🙂 It sounds so creepy, but I’ve been waiting all weekend to read those words! So many congratulations to you and Larry! Honestly, when I hear pregnancy announcements from one of my team members (you know, the infertility team), I really don’t get those same feelings as from other pregnancy announcements. The tiniest, tiniest twinge of “can’t wait for that to be me!”, but 99.9. % fist-pumping “YES!!”.

    • Stephanie, no worries – I’ve been “stalked” by people all weekend hoping I’d spill the beans early. I very nearly did in leaving a comment on someone else’s blog! I’m so glad that this new chapter in my life inspires hope – because it IS possible to get here. This is what the other side looks like, feels like – and I wish it for EVERY ONE who reads this blog. Thank you for the well wishes & your comment!

  81. WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS POST! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE #TEAMZOLL

    Congratulations!!!! I am soooooo over the moon happy for you, for Larry for TZ3 and maybe even TZ4!!

    Even though my journey through secondary infertility and loss is resolved, I so appreciate the thought and care that went into every word that you shared here. I believe that your readers will appreciate that too.

    Sending lots of positive thoughts, prayers, sticky vibes, love and light for the days ahead. I look forward to continuing on this new journey with you and have no doubt that you will continue to be an incredible voice for the ALI Community! Mazel Tov (saidyour Catholic friend)!!! xoxo

    • Kathy, thank you so much for your support, both here and offline. This was definitely the hardest post I’ve ever written. And with a Mazel Tov like that, you’ll be baking knishes and rugelah in no time 😉

  82. OMG. OMG OMG OMG ERMAGHERD OMG I am so excited for you right now!!!!!! Keiko– we trust you to still continue to advocate for those of us who have empty arms but we celebrate this new life and new adventure on your behalf!!!

  83. We had our baby last year after 6 years of fertility treatments. I relate to women with infertility now more than ever. I don’t have plans to have any more. We’re soul sisters and the one ones who can truly understand the layers of how infertility can affect us. I’m glad you plan to keep your blog open. Congratulations.

    • Congratulations on your new addition! I can’t even think of closing this blog, especially now. I wish we didn’t have to share this sisterhood of pain, but it’s amazing how quickly it becomes a sisterhood of hope. Thank you for the congratulations and comment!

  84. Congratulations!
    Enjoy the gamut of emotions – and it is one, but a good one! It took us six years to get pregnant and it happened before we had to use IVF but yes, enjoy it (I still chuckle at the jaw of my GP hitting the floor when we announced the positive over the counter test).
    Very happy for you!

    • It’s pretty much taken me all weekend to pick my jaw up off the floor 😉 Thank you so much for the well wishes!

  86. WOO HOOOOOOO! Amazing. Such beautiful news. Congratulations. Wishing you a happy, healthy, boring, and normal nine months!

    • Thank you so much! And it’s already not boring. Seriously, I cannot stop staring at my boobs. They’re out of control.

      • As someone who had a NOT boring IVF/ICSI pregancy…..wish for BORING. Boobs are good. But boring is GREAT.

    • 🙂 Thank you so, so much. Your support over the years has really meant a lot to me. *hug* Now stop crying and let’s celebrate, huh? 😉

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