Thanks everyone for your patience yesterday. Yom Kippur is basically the holiest day of the year, so I was trying to stay offline as much as possible.
Egg retrieval went very, very well. We got to the clinic bright and early – a half-hour early, in fact – and chilled out for a bit while our donor completed some paperwork. Larry got to go do his thing while our donor and I just hung out in the waiting room. I won’t lie: this part of the process was kind of weird… knowing my husband was in the spank bank while we just sat and waited.
Also awkward? They called Larry AND another guy back at the same time. The walk of shame is one thing – the walk of shame with another dude is something else entirely.
Once Larry was done, they took our donor back to the surgical center. I went back with her to keep her company as they got her prepped. The anesthesiologist was hysterical: a total crazy cat dude. He had on a surgical hat covered in images of cats and showed us the Hello Kitty iPhone cover he had. I promptly pulled up my pants and showed him my lucky Hello Kitty socks I’ve been wearing to each appointment. We all took this as a fortuitous sign.
Our donor got changed into her hospital gown and surprisingly fashionable seersucker robe. (After her retrieval, we both schemed about how we could sneak in into her purse.) Our donor got to meet Dr. Warmenfriendly for the first and only time as he quickly ran through the procedure. It was time for her to head back so I gave her a huge hug.
As I stepped back out into the waiting room, I could feel my eyes well up with tears.
About a half hour later, Dr. Warmenfriendly came out. His face looked grim. After her ultrasound Monday, and all the stim delays we had, I wasn’t holding out home for anything more than maybe 10 eggs at best.
Dr. Warmenfriendly’s face broke into a huge smile. “We got twenty eggs.”
“Holy shit!” I couldn’t help myself. I was so genuinely shocked.
“She did great and she’s already awake and alert. You can come back and see her.”
Larry and I gave each other a huge hug while exchanging a few small woops, much to the confusion/annoyance of the other folks in the waiting room. We headed back to see our donor who was amazingly lucid and munching on animal crackers.
“I actually feel lighter,” she said. “Less bloated, too.”
We stopped on the way home to get her some breakfast, while Larry and I continued to fast in observance of Yom Kippur. After I got home, I sat around on a heating pad while my first PIO injection site was killing me, and promptly slept for the next four hours.
* * *
I wrote the above last night, after Yom Kippur was over and I had eaten and wasn’t a raging bitch. I was still floating on that high of a great egg retrieval and a really beautiful, wonderful dinner out with our donor.
We just got the fertilization report about 15 minutes ago.
Out of 20 eggs, only 6 fertilized.
I’m really at a loss here and trying desperately not to have a further meltdown than I’m already having right now. Larry is shocked and crushed. I’m just – a mess, right now. That’s really the best way to put it.
Transfer is scheduled for 8am Saturday.
I am praying – I mean, really praying – that all six make it to day 3.
The first round draft picks of 20 new players for Team Zoll were amazing, but in the end, only 6 have made it. Now let’s see if they can make it through playoffs…
Team Zoll embies, it’s time to hustle.
I know it’s hard to hear a dropoff from 20 to 6. But I really think that the follicles they track are a better representation of follicles with mature eggs. With our donor, they got 10 more eggs than they expected, but 0 more mature eggs than expected. So we had a brief giddy moment when we heard the egg count, but the fertilization number was really based on the number of follicles tracked. Likely the extra 10 were small follicles (hiding on the ultrasound screen).
Sending good thoughts for your 6 embryos, and to you, Larry and your donor!
6 may not seem like a great number when you had 20 eggs. I remember getting 21 and only 7 fertilized on my 2nd fresh IVF. But all 7 were brought to day 5 and only 2 were good enough to transfer on that day. We put in both and one became our daughter. You really never know! Have a little faith. Good luck!!
I know you wanted to have more. We all wanted you to have more. But right now you have 6 and its more than none. Give yourselves some time to deal with the less than stellar news and then celebrate what you have. I still have hope for you that this will work and that you will have left over embryos for TeamZoll4.
In the meantime, know that we are all here, riding this roller coaster with you and rooting for you. <3
btw, I had to move my blog from blogger to wordpress. Just in case the new address throws you off.
Six is a perfectly respectable number. ” …the underlying meaning of six as a symbol of perfect union, and the energetic emblem of soulful integration.”
From http://www.tarotteachings.com/meaning-of-six.html.
If we lived near each other I’d do an I Ching reading with you. It’s a hexagram 🙂
Thoughts and prayers with you here as well. I agree that it is quality and not quantity that matters. I hope you have at least one or two MVPs in those 6 embryos just waiting to cause the most adorable chaos in your life 🙂
OK – I just read this and I have some thoughts to share. Bare with me.
We did our first IVF, got 16 eggs, 15 were mature, 11 fertilized, 9 made it to day 5, 2 “perfect blasts” were transferred, 7 “perfect blasts” were frozen. BFN. We were floored, stunned. Our RE was at a loss and literally told us at the WTF appointment, “guys, we’re all surprised this didn’t work,” This coming from a man who was always cautiously optimistic in an effort to not get my hopes up. EVEN HE WAS SHOCKED.
FET #1 – use 2 “perfect blasts” that survived the thaw, leaving 5 in the freezer. Empty sac.
IVF #2 – slower stim, 10 eggs retrieved (I cried from disappointment), only 5 fertilized (more tears), only 4 made it to blast (even more tears), transferred 2 “very good blasts,” froze 2 “very good blasts.” BFP!
It’s not quantity – it’s quality. I’ve been devastated too with lower embryo numbers, but I have a baby from that “worse” cycle.
It’s going to be OK. Hang in there. I’m thinking of you – BIG TIME!
I don’t even know where to begin…20 eggs is so amazing, and then to find out only 6 fertilized – what a letdown. 🙁 The big, important thing, though, is that you have SIX growing embryos! Six isn’t bad in the scheme of things, and the odds are on your side here. I will keep my fingers crossed that all six make it to day 3!
Oh, Keiko! Rollercoaster is right! Hoping hard for you!
As I am sure you know, Rosh Hashana is when infertile woman prayed for children (Sarah, Deborah, Rachel) and got pregnant during the holidays.
I am praying for you. And 6 is still 6. You only need 1.
Hugs
Jacky
I’m really excited for you. You have such good odds of getting a baby out of this.
Keeping my fingers crossed and saying a prayer!
Wiill say a prayer for you. Don’t forget it’s quality that counts! ((hugs))
Oh, Keiko. I feel like I’m strapped into the roller coaster with you.
I’m glad that you wrote about the retrieval experience before receiving your fert report today. I think it would have been difficult for you to capture all of the day’s joy while your car was still at the crest of that hill.
Then today’s plummet…oof – my heart plunged and I felt myself gripping the rails and leaning forward in fervent prayer.
I’m envisioning wrapping the Team Zoll embryos in love and light in the prayers that they are able to find their way home to you and Larry.
Abiding with you, Keiko…<3
Just said a quick prayer on your behalf. You’ll stay in my prayers until you’re holding your child. This must be so hard. Remember that the amazing thing about miracles is that they DO happen. Prayers for your miracle.
All you need is one. ONE. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Fingers and toes all crossed!