Tuesday, Thursday… sometimes I have a little dyslexia when it comes to dates. It’s another Time Warp Tuesday post. This week’s theme: Song Lyrics. Kathy has challenged us to find a post from our archives that featured song lyrics and to reflect on them and where we are now.
This one was a toughie.
Back when I LiveJournaled (and oh, did I ever LiveJournal), I would post virtual serenades all the time. But here? Not so much.
In fact, I almost didn’t think I even had a post with song lyrics, until I remembered this post: I Feel So Much Spring. I had written the post on St. Patrick’s Day of last year. (Fitting, since I’ve got a little Irish-themed news to share with everyone next Wednesday ;))
I had posted lyrics to and a video of the song of the same name from the Broadway musical, A New Brain. “I Feel So Much Spring” is a beautiful song:
I feel so much spring within me
Blow, winds, blow, spring has just begun.
And something’s taken wing within me,
What was dark so long had felt like winter,
Finally there’s sun.
And so I sing…
That I feel so much Spring.
I had written it at a point as I felt Spring emerging in New England and within myself. It was the day before the first anniversary of my diagnosis day and I seemed to be handling it remarkably well.
The show is about a songwriter who is diagnosed with brain tumor. Faced with a very real possibility of his own death, he works furiously to write all the songs still stuck in his head.
Wikipedia says it a little better:
His greatest fear is dying with his greatest songs still inside of him.
Welcome to my life, people. While my life’s work may not be songs, it’s such a fear I have: that for whatever reason, I won’t do all of the good work I’m meant to do. That I’ll run out of time.
Let me just clarify: I don’t have cancer or anything, and am moderately healthy. But it’s a nagging fear, that I’ve got greatness inside of me that needs to be shared. After 29 years of self-doubt and self-deprecation, this is huge for me to admit to others. I’ve never taken praise well, but the fact of the matter is – I do have greatness within me.
It’s time to shine, baby.
That’s why I’m taking such a leap with trying to transition from my current job into social media and writing work. I may even entirely make the full freelance leap – it’s not off the table yet.
I’ve often said, maybe not here in this exact forum, I’ve got so many stories in my heart still yet to share. It’s time to commit to that work and give those stories the attention and time they deserve.
So here I am, a little over a year later, Broadway on the brain as I reflect on this post. I’m thinking beginnings, adventures, and taking chances. It leaves me contemplating one of my favorite opening numbers from any Broadway musical:
Into the Woods.
Into the woods
Without regret,
The choice is made,
The task is set.
Into the woods,
But not forgetting
why I’m on the journey.
Into the woods
to get my wish,
I don’t care how,
The time is now.
Fact: I played the Witch my senior year of high school.
Fact I had forgotten: The opening lyrics from the Baker and Baker’s Wife.
I wish…
more than the moon…
more than riches…
more than anything…
I wish we had a child.
Huh.
This post is part of the Time Warp Tuesday Blog Hop hosted by Kathy at Four of a Kind. Swing by her blog today to see who else is participating and join in the fun for next Tuesday.
P.S. I love that song from “Into the Woods” and how interesting and ironic to reflect on and notice some of the key and very pertinent lyrics to you and your life right now.
Here from Time Warp and I am sorry that I didn’t get sooner to read and comment this week! Thank you so much for participating again and writing another wonderful and thoughtful post!
I echo everyone else, as well as your own sentiments about you having greatness inside you! You absolutely do, not to mention all around you and radiating from you. It is a joy to watch you blossom and shine and I can’t wait to see what you do next!
I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Emra Bombeck that I think captures some of what you are talking about in this post:
“When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say, `I used everything you gave me.'”
Though I hope I don’t die for a very long time, I would love for that to be on my memorial card someday and to know that I truly did the best that I could with the gifts I was blessed with in my life.
You definitely have greatness inside you: Kristin’s right. That “What If? Video was a knock-out perception changer. I can’t wait to see the full fruit of your new, exciting endeavors 🙂
You definitely have amazing things in you, just waiting to get out. I believe that about you without a doubt. I’m so glad you believe it too! You are going to do fantastic things in this world and I’m so happy the the IF community has you in its corner.
I have no doubt that you have greatness inside you. Your infertility video showed that.
Love the lyrics, btw.