“If you haven’t already heard and you’ll allow me to dish some gossip this morning,” local radio personality Bob Oakes began, “the Royal Family has confirmed that the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, is pregnant with her second child.”
And just like that, my local NPR station went right into some other bit of news, or maybe even a station promo. I don’t really remember. I just did some quick calculations in my head given Prince George’s birth last year… just a little younger than Judah, so – 14 months? I confirm the number with myself.
Before I can even help it, there’s that lump in my throat, the feeling of the floor dropping out from underneath my feet, the pull in my stomach, the sting of a tear at the corner of each eye – those all-too-familiar feelings from even my darkest days following my infertility diagnosis. I’m taken aback at this strange, confused flush of emotions while my own 15-month old son sits in the backseat of the car.
Five years later, with a child of my very own and still – still – I can’t shake the way a pregnancy announcement like this hits me. I thought it strange how this news affected me – I’m supposed to be over all of this emotional baggage that infertility likes to hurl at its patients, right?
In truth, infertility never really leaves us, no matter how or if we resolve.
So if you’re still trying for baby number one and Kate Middleton’s pregnancy announcement got to you: I get it. I’m sorry that you’re hurting and I hope that you too, will have an announcement of your own very soon.
If you already have baby number one or even number two, but your family still isn’t complete and Kate Middleton’s pregnancy announcement got to you: I get it, too. No one likes to be lapped.
If you’re like me and have one child after a long battle with infertility and you’ve all but made up your mind that you are in fact, “one and done” – and Kate Middleton’s pregnancy announcement still got to you: I know how odd it feels to feel bitter about the news even though for all intents and purposes, your own family building journey is over.
So no, it wasn’t just you if Kate Middleton’s pregnancy announcement got to you.
We’ll all find a way to survive the next six or so months of #RoyalBaby fever – after all, we made it through the first one.
It’s so funny, I felt that way too, for both announcements. I don’t usually get upset over strangers’ fertility, usually the ones that hit me are close friends or family members, but for some reason this one got me too. The nice thing is that this second one isn’t going to get nearly as much media attention, so we won’t be reminded over and over again like we were with the first one.
felt the same. After a 4.5 yr battle we were blessed my DD (IUI)…right along side (1.5 months off ) royal baby one. NOT only did royal baby #2 get announced but with in a short period of time a whole lot of the girls that had baby’s at the same time as me also started announcing their baby #2…double/triple/quadruple wammy…..I’m happy they don’t have the pain I do but doesn’t make the knife cut any deeper…thanks for putting into words what i was feeling. ” no one likes to be lapped”
Thanks for this blog post, and saying it out loud. I appreciate it so much. I found myself sighing when I heard, a bit of achy jealousy coming to the top. Even though I definitely wouldn’t wish my own infertility issues on anyone, it can be hard to explain all the complex emotions surrounding childbearing/pregnancy/motherhood when I hear announcements like Kate’s. You summed it up beautifully.
This article made me tear up! I just found out my friend is pregnant at the same time the royal family announced their pregnancy. And although I’m happy for her (for both) there’s still this underlining jealousy I can’t shake, even while holding my two little miracles. I honestly thought I was the only one who felt this way! Thank you for writing this story and making me feel less alone.
I felt the sting. While I was actively trying, I had many people go on to have their second (or third) child while I hit negative milestones, one after another. They had their second child while my second IVF failed or some such. Years after stopping treatment and the pursuit of parenthood in any other fashion, I still falter a bit at these announcements. While I am happy for Kate, and any other mom out there, my heart still hurts a little for me.
Wow. How did you know? As soon as I heard it this morning my stomach dropped. And then I thought stop being silly, why do you even care? I’m glad to hear its.not just me.
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one!
While getting ready for work I was watching the news and heard the announcement. I literally let out a sarcastic “YAY! Isn’t that super!”… and then felt bad for being jealous and feeling sorry for myself. After losing five babies and never being able to carry, I’m finding it difficult to process the emotions of being four months away from a hysterectomy. Grieving the loss of a dream is difficult and we aren’t supposed to get over it right away. Those feelings take time to process… we just have to work on being okay with that. It’s so wonderful to know there are other women who “get” what I’m going through. It helps to know I’m not alone!