It all started two months ago with #ProjectIF.
Two months ago to the day, I posted my What IF? video online.
What IF? A Portrait of Infertility on Vimeo.
Two months ago, I thought I would merely post on my little corner of the internet and let the blogosphere pass me by. Two months ago, I came out of the infertility closet. True, my friends and family were more than aware of who was writing this blog. Yet, I put my name, my face, my contact information to these What IFs, to a story that’s told over and over and over again in the infertility community. Two months ago, I became an infertility advocate the moment I hit “record” on my digital camera. Standing here, two months later, and looking back, I marvel at the distance I’ve traveled in just two months’ time.
I’m writing this post as part of WEGO Health’s June Blog Carnival: Your Best Health Activist Moment. Click the link to read more and to find out how you can participate! This post has allowed me to explore some of the true highlights of the past two months in my health advocacy. It’s hard to just pick one: so much has happened and I’ve been deeply affected by them all.
The first moment was when my video went viral. In just 11 days of publishing my video online, it received 10,000 plays. Currently, it has about 17,500 plays, and grows little by slowly. A lot of that initial momentum has dropped off, to be expected. That was when I realized my advocacy work was generating buzz: people were talking, tweeting, sharing.
The second moment was when I received a call from Rebecca Flick at RESOLVE’s national headquarters in Washington. You often think of national organizations as nameless, faceless giants with no real person-to-person connection between Organization with a capital O and its members. All of that bias I held was erased the moment Rebecca and I began talking. RESOLVE really is here for its members, and they work tirelessly for them whether it’s providing education and support or lobbying for change. The work alone to keep RESOLVE current with social media trends is exhausting enough. When Rebecca told me I had RESOLVE’s full support to spread this video to the masses, this was when I was first beginning to realize that I had embarked on something much bigger than I had originally thought.
The third moment was when I was contacted by Dr. Lawrence Nelson of the NICHD. Dr. Nelson was the first resource I turned to after I was first diagnosed with premature ovarian failure: a quick Google search brought up much of his literature and even an informational video that I posted as one of my first handful of posts on this blog. Dr. Nelson has become one of the leading experts on POF/POI in the nation, and his passion to develop comprehensive and compassionate treatment for the disease is inspiring. We have since been corresponding on ways I can bring my experience with post-diagnosis coping and healing into some kind of treatment protocol for other women diagnosed with POF/POI. Apparently, I’ve handled my diagnosis remarkably well for a woman of only 26 at the time. In this moment, I realized that my experience mattered to other people.
The fourth moment happened right here in my own backyard after meeting with a networking group of regional infertility professionals. I made some great connections and contacts and had a chance to brainstorm ideas, raise issues, and get feedback. The real honor came when I was asked last month to apply to the RESOLVE of New England Board of Directors, of which I was unanimously voted in last Thursday. This was when I realized the possibilities ahead of me with local advocacy efforts.
But of all the moments in the past two months? My childhood best friend sending me a message on Facebook telling me she is a three-time egg donor. A work colleague of mine (who I just goof off with 90% of the time I see him) closing the door in my office and confessing that his son was a miracle after recurrent miscarriages. The blogger who reposted my video who works in the healthcare field who changed her mind about mandated infertility treatment coverage and how it really should be covered by insurance companies. The dear friend who I had no idea was having trouble conceiving a second child. A friend of mine who I’m still getting to know who pulls me aside after a gathering one night and thanks me for posting on my blog that it’s okay to feel mean and jealous and spiteful of all those big round bellies that aren’t hers. The long emails from strangers telling me their stories: all of their heartbreak, triumph, and waiting- finally sharing it for the first time with someone other than their partner.
Like a sudden rain across still waters, the ripples growing and colliding with one another, the water a network of waves and movement – it was these moments of personal connection that have impacted me the most in my activism. These personal connections begin lacing and crossing one another, creating a network of support, education, activism and research that grows stronger and tighter with each connection.
What a different place at which I stand two months later… and I cannot wait to see from where I stand a year from now, so see how far the ripples have spread.
Keiko, I really appreciate all the work you are doing advocating for infertility. As I mentioned on your FB page, I'm going to send you an email asking some questions. Thanks again.
Keiko, I really appreciate all the work you are doing advocating for infertility. As I mentioned on your FB page, I'm going to send you an email asking some questions. Thanks again.
Keiko,
Your video helped me feel like I am not alone! I appreciated your complete honesty and I have to say that I have felt all those same what ifs. Thank you for making it and for bring hope and support to so many!
This brought tears to my eyes. You did an amazing thing, and your video touched so many people, me included.
You are such a brave soul and I am so proud of you that you are taking the message to the world. Congratulations on how far you are coming in being such a strong advocate for the IF community. I wish I could make such a difference.
You have always been an inspiration! And if it is possible, i am even more proud to be your friend. This time next year i hope to be reading post about your son or daughter smiling and laughing for the first time.
I just love seeing the change that has happened on your blog since your video. You have become a voice for so many who do not have the ability or strength to speak out.
You are a true inspiration to me.
This gives me such chills! I'm so proud of what you've accomplished in such a short period of time … and congrats, too, on becoming an aunt! 🙂
Keiko, you are truly an inspiration! You inspired me to look at my fertility journey in a whole new way! I have shared your video with women I know who are dealing with infertility, and they all walk away with a new attitude and a new perspective on this devastating disease. Thank you so much for advocating for us, and sharing with us! You have also inspired me to start a blog entitled "Issac's Prayer…Genesis 25:21". So feel free to come and follow! I am completing my graduate degree in social work May 2011 and so advocacy is very important to me both personally and professionally. I am also in the process of writing a book…and I would be honored to have you be apart of it…perhaps to write a feature message, introduction or forward. Beyond the book, I would love to work with you and partner with you in advocacy. I have some ideas and would love to share them with you!I live in South Carolina perhaps on the other side of the world from you and so maybe I can send ripples from my end so that our ripples can meet in the middle to create a giantic wave of hope, faith and support for women experiencing infertility everywhere! Be blessed and keep up the good work!!
An amazing video from an amazing woman. It was clear from the very first frame that your calling was advocacy. I think that the ripple effect is taking you exactly where you should be, and we are all better off because of it!
I 'met' you after seeing your video posted on another blog. It is an incredibly powerful and moving project. Brilliant, really. I immediately posted it on my (new) blog. And I started thinking about the power that one voice can have. It has been a long process for me to find my own voice in this journey, and you are a huge inspiration for me. Blogging has helped me discover that I am not alone, and I have found the greatest comfort in reading the posts of others and discovering the right words to communicate with myself and those around me. Advocacy is in my blood, and I have struggled with how I can maintain my privacy while advocating for infertility awareness and compassion.
I think about your bravery and strength all the time. Thank you for being you!
I have watched your video many times. Even shared it on my blog and facebook. What I love is that you making the video is what made me go to your blog, follow your blog, and become twitter friends. I am so grateful that because of this video I "met" you.
Congratulations on everything. You deserve it all. You are amazing.
Thank you for making that video. You are very brave to come out like that, I don't know if I have the guts to do that.
Just thought I would let you know that a online IVF discussion group in Australia had posted a link to your video and were saying how amazing it is.
Happy ICLW.
All I can say is…. Wow. You are incredibly inspiring. I am so proud to call you a fellow Health Activist. I haven't seen the video yet, but that's where I'm headed next!
Well done!
Well done for getting the message out there and continuing to spread the message. Keep on advocating and keep on reminding us of your video… it's such a fantastic resource.
I must confess that 474 of the 17,500 plays are probably mine. I've played this video countless times for myself -not to mention for my mom, and my husband and my therapist, lol.
Keiko, I am overjoyed to hear that you are getting this level of recognition, because you really, REALLY deserve it. I wish that I could properly express how deeply your video impacted me. It's everything I've been feeling and didn't know how to say.
So thank you for making it. Thank you for posting it. And thank you, thank you, thank you for becoming IF's most recent advocate.
Hugs.
You are absolutely amazing! I kept during separate lives (still do) during infertility. I was terrified to leave the majority of my real life friends, family know the details of my infertility, so the blog world became my outlet.
Thank you for being brave! It makes a difference!
being honest, I watch the video every week..to remind me how painful IF was..and still is. What i have to be thankful for and how I need to reach out any (small) way I can to make it not a taboo thing.
the WHAT IF changed my life too…by bringing me back to this community and introducing me to so many more incredible women and letting me know that even when you get to the other side of IF (parenthood) there are still people in the water, people to help and people that understand.
I love how this video changed YOUR LIFE, because it's going to change our WORLD
HUGS
This is wonderful – you should be so proud of yourself! I'm proud of you!!!
I just watched your video, for probably the 10th time (at least), and it still brings me to tears. It is so poignant and well done. Thank you for making this video. It really gets my own "what IFs" out there for me to see and deal with.
I knew within the first three seconds of your video that you were onto something big and that the ripple you created with your pebble in the big pond of IF would reach far and wide. I'm thrilled to hear that that's exactly what's happening, and I also can't wait to see what else is in store for you.
Keiko – I just watched the video again (I had watched it several times when you first posted it and even posted a link to it on my blog) and it still gives me the chills. It was the first accurate representation of exactly how I felt all wrapped up into moving, beautiful, not scientific, or mushy video. Real and straight to the point which is exactly how I am. I am so glad to read about all the wonderful things that have happened to you so far because of the video/blog and I can only imagine how bright your future is going to be. I am so glad to have women like you fighting for women like me.
Keiko, I am so happy I found your blog (and it was through Project IF). I am still in awe of the power behind your video.
I emailed you but I think it was when you were out of town. I have something for you. If you didn't get the email, can you let me know and I will send it again.
Keiko,
I came to your blog site after seeing one your beautiful video on someone else's blog. Thank you for making such a powerful video.
I suffered from PI for almost 3.5 years and even though we've been blessed with a pregnancy through IVF, my experience with IF has forever changed me and I have to say that the pain is still there. I recently started blogging to raise awareness amongst my friends and family, and I've had similar experiences with people coming from different parts of my life and sharing about their struggles. While I don't wish it on anyone, I feel blessed to be able to journey with these women.
Thanks again for being such a strong advocate for IF awareness and research. I will continue to do my part as best I can in my little sphere of the world.
OIMGOSH Keiko we are SO on similar paths. My blog turned a year old this month and it marked the anniversary of me "coming out of the infertility closet" as well. One year and I've made some amazing friends, found out more than I ever thought I would about minority infertility, and you hit the nail RIGHT on the head about RESOLVE.
I truly appreciate this post because at times, being an activist and venturing out of the comfort zone does cause some grief, and sometimes it feels like I'm just out here talking to myself about this crazy infertility world. I truly believe though, that by NIAW next year there will be so many more milestones. Keep up the amazing work!