This is What 23 Years of Journaling Looks (and Reads) Like
I was inspired by Jessica's recent post about re-reading your blog and again by Kathy's Time Warp Tuesday posts, about this idea of going back and reading through all the words I've written over the last few years and seeing how you've grown and what you've learned. Jessica's post specifically makes us think about what we learn about ourselves in reading old words. And then I realized, I've been writing about myself for a long time. I may have only been blogging for a little over three years, but I've been keeping journals since I was seven years old. And I still have every last one of them. In a week, I turn 30. In the last week of my twenties, I figured this would be a fun opportunity to crack open these insightful tomes of my … {Continue Reading →}
G-d Help Me, I’m Nesting
A quick post today with some updates on what's new and groovy in my life. I'm recovering well from post-op. Cramping has basically all but gone away (and it was pretty mild to begin with) and now just some very faint bleeding; it could be withdrawal bleeding triggered by the surgery. It's Keiko's sexy TMI time! Can't have sex until Thursday. Probably should have better prepared for this because we didn't um, satiate ourselves before I had surgery last week so I'm running up against nearly a 3-week dry spell. No magic will be happening until I'm done bleeding, either. Have I been on edge lately? A bit. I'm nesting... BAD. Apparently once they removed that uterine septum to make it nice and roomy for a future child(ren - because let's … {Continue Reading →}
On the Path to Mother’s Day: Messages of Hope from Across the Bridge
Deep breaths. Tomorrow is Mother's Day, one of the many holiday landmines scattered across our calendars, as we gingerly step between days and weeks hoping to avoid an emotional explosion. I've had many different reflections of Mother's Day over the years. In 2009, right after my diagnosis, it was still too raw. I had a post written where so much is left unsaid in between the words of the post it speaks louder than the post itself. I wrote about this scene so vividly, I still remember how bitter and pained I felt at the time. In 2010, I took an inspired approach. 2010 was really a year of digging myself out of this infertility funk anyway, so I forged ahead with turning Mother's Day into Me Day, to celebrate how awesome we all are. … {Continue Reading →}
Super Quick Post-Op Update
My hysteroscopy went well yesterday. Dr. Warmenfriendly did a fantastic job and the nursing staff at the facility were just incredible. I've never met such genuinely kind and attentive medical personel in my life. He went in to check on that fibroid, turns out I had a uterine septum instead! So he removed that and it looks like from a uterine perspective, I should be good to go to get a baby all up ins :-D Recovering well with the help of Advil, pajama pants, and a dutifully attentive husband and a doting mom to take care of me. Recovery is just fine: mild cramping, a little bit of bleeding and I can't stay in a sitting position for more than an hour or so, so oh shucks, looks like I gotta lay down all the time ;) Only drawbacks: … {Continue Reading →}
I Am Whole, I Am Perfect, I Am Strong
Headed to the hospital in a little over an hour and a half. Had a very restless sleep last night, from the sound of the rain on the roof to fitful, strange dreams. I went to sleep listening to a beautiful, empowering belly and womb chant sent to me by my friend Natalie that helped calm some of my fears and worries. Despite my lack of sleep, I awoke this morning feeling like a warrior. As I get ready to head to the hospital for my hysteroscopy, I'm channeling another chant taught to me by the beautiful Goddess Elizabeth Stahl. It's a chant that has its own melody, but even just reading the words fills me with motivation and hope. I've said this chant, this mantra, more times than I can count since I've learned it, and want … {Continue Reading →}
A Little Pre-Op PTSD
With this writing, this now makes the fifth time I have tried to write this post. Each time I have just been wrecked, emotionally, trying to write this. But I'm sticking to my guns and finishing it now, because I really need to, to work through some stuff emotionally. I may have mentioned a few times in the last couple of months about my impending hysteroscopy tomorrow. As many of you noted, for the most part, this should be a mildly uncomfortable walk in the park. And yet, when I say I am pants-shittingly terrified for tomorrow morning, I'm not embellishing for dramatic effect here. I am genuinely scared about having surgery tomorrow. Don't believe me? Ask my husband, who has been one helluva champ putting up with sporadic panic … {Continue Reading →}
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